IN THEIR OWN WORDS | Effects of Abortion
Little is more powerful than the words from someone who has experienced the effects of abortion. As you read; you may hear yourself in their words.
“It has been almost three years since I let my second child go- the child that would have been sibling to my first, to whom I gave the gift of birth- she is my joy, and my dead baby is my never-ending pain…, and a world of heartbreak since has replaced every hope. I cannot look at happiness, at families, at love, without crying, no matter where I am. I shall never recover from this aching terrible grief. I am alone, and so lonely, and so sorry for allowing my child to be taken from my womb and made to disappear… how I ache for my child, who will never come back to me, no second chance, because I killed it…I’d like to say I am sorry, but I am sorry for me- for how my heart has shattered- for my ex- who has stopped speaking to me and our first child, for my daughter, who lost her baby brother or sister. I am so sorry.”
From Karen, one of our counsellors:
No matter how often I read or hear a person’s abortion story, it always tears my heart apart. This story, that was recently sent to the abortion recovery website, is no exception. I cried when I read about the very dark and torturous place this woman is dwelling. Every word she writes drips with unbearable sorrow, inconceivable brokenness, and unending heartache. I cry for her not only because she is in such emotional turmoil, but also because she feels utterly hopeless… and yet I know that there is hope for her.
From my own experience with companioning women who have settled in darkness and feel like there is no way out, I want to gently whisper, “there is a way out of the wilderness”. This woman’s grief is very real and will not go away with time, but it will soften when she walks through the pain. Trying to cope alone only leads to isolation. She is not alone. You are not alone. The Abortion Recovery Centre is here to walk along side her and you in the grief journey.
The first steps to healing are:
- Tell your story to someone who will listen
- Seek counselling that is specific to abortion loss
- Find a support group specific to abortion loss
- Journal and express your pain
- Allow yourself to mourn
- Give God your brokenness and He will walk with you
- Remember, there is comfort, healing & hope
To the beautiful lady who wrote in and shared her pain with transparency please call 780.454.5911 to begin your journey of hope.
“I cried all the way through the abortion – they told me to be quiet. I felt alone and terrified and regretted my decision from the first moment.”
“My abortion is the deepest secret in my life. I guard it and constantly re-bury it so that no one will ever find out.”
“Abortions are secret affairs – you don’t share them with anybody because of your fear, shame and pain – who can possibly understand?”
“I can’t stop judging myself – I knew what I was doing but convinced myself that having the abortion was the best thing. I wish I could go back and undo what I’ve done.”
“I’m angry at the lack of information given.” Why wouldn’t they tell you the possible risks involved?”
“I’m consumed with both grief and anger. I don’t know how to get past this.”
“My biggest fear of being alone happened. My boyfriend insisted on an abortion and told me he’d be there no matter what. The day after the abortion he left and he hasn’t come back since.”
“Part of me died on that table and regret goes beyond any words.”
“When she told me she was pregnant, that was the last thing on earth I wanted. I arranged for the abortion and told her it was the only thing to do and that I’d stick by her. We broke up shortly after the abortion and now all I can think about is that I should be a father – raising my child – I’m not and I did it to myself.”
“I begged her not to have the abortion. I wanted my child; I wanted to be given the chance to be a dad and to raise that baby. I’m angry and hurt and I don’t know when the feelings will get better.”