Men & Abortion
Did your partner have an abortion? Men can experience the same feelings of grief and loss that a woman can after an abortion, but are more likely to deny these feelings and try not express it.
Are you experiencing*:
- Self -condemnation?
- Self- pity?
- Excessive alcohol use?
- Drug use?
- Aggressive tendencies?
- Abusive tendencies?
- Avoiding relationships or becoming dependent on them?
- Difficulty with intimacy?
- Suicidal thoughts?
- Flashbacks or nightmares?
- Feeling a vague sort of emptiness?
*This is not a complete list of indicators. Everybody experiences grief uniquely.
If you are experiencing one or more of these tendencies or feelings then you may be having trouble dealing with your post-abortion grief. The Abortion Recovery Centre is here to help and quite often offers our support system to men – you are not alone.
Abortion: Men talk
Men experience abortions too. So why don’t we talk about it? Ontario Today talks to men about abortion and discuss real-life stories about what makes it difficult for men to express, or understand, both their own and their partner’s feelings of grief, guilt, and confusion.
RESOURCES FOR MEN:
From an article: “Restoring Fatherhood Lost” by Warren Williams:
“Fathers become involved in an abortion in one of five ways: (1) they encourage or support the woman to choose abortion; (2) they pressure her to abort; (3) they abandon her to make the decision alone: (4) they unsuccessfully oppose the abortion; or (5) they learn about the abortion only after it has been done.
No matter how they were involved, most men will try to “stuff it away.” They are embarrassed and ashamed. They seldom want to talk about it, even if they are experiencing a great sense of loss and pain.
Most men are very reluctant to enter a process of healing. If they do share their loss with others, many will only partially reveal their pain. When they do this, they have an immediate release of all that pent-up hurt, and they feel better. Sometimes they mistake this for the end of their healing process, when it is really just the beginning. I tell this to men before we meet, so they will not think just one meeting and a “quick fix” conversation will be a cure-all for them.” http://afterabortion.org/1996/restoring-fatherhood-lost/
Post-Abortion Grief Adaptation for Resilient Men – Mission 4 One | Author: Rick Bergh
Mission-For-One (M-4-1) is a weekend retreat program for men who have gone through the abortion experience.
For information about upcoming retreats, please contact Rick by e-mail at: email@example.com